Transformations

Ha. I named this post about halfway through writing it. I get a kick out of the fact that the title and content are strikingly parallel with RSD's Transformations...

Today is a good day for me. I realized that I've become the kind of consumer that I wanted to become before I set off. Although I'll always be eccentric and enjoy things of the like, I haven't always been a rational consumer for it. Like most others, if I seen something I wanted, I'd get it. Whether it was worth a great amount, or it was the most beautiful paperweight known to man.

I don't like that style of consumerism. Not only is it incredibly wasteful but, I think, those actions will eventually bleed into other parts of your life, at which point it can become a lifestyle instead of a consumer style. That's why I wanted to get away from it. This first year off of school was about doing some serious work transforming myself into something that I believed was better than my former self. Namely, I wanted to become more introspective, less materialistic and much more aware of the circumstances surrounding my life.

Now that I write that, I feel like I've come a long ways in a year. Having lots of open minded friends (ahem, Cody, you may get mentioned in every blog post; you're on a roll) has provided an outlet to discuss things about myself that I otherwise never may have considered. I'm much more attuned to what I want, what I believe and what I really need. I have a better understanding of self. It's like a whole different level than what I used to have.

The materialistic changes are what have surprised me most. I didn't really know if I'd be able to make it to where I wanted to be. I was sure that I could break myself of buying things I didn't need, but I didn't know if I could totally change my perspective on those things as well. I have. I see things now in a very "rational" way. Do I really need it? What REAL value does this have now and will it maintain that value in the future? I am working on purchasing not based on want, but on need and efficiency. MINIMALISM! I'm not sure that I want to be completely minimalist, or if I really can, but I'm making good progress going where I want to go with it...which is somewhere in that direction.

The "circumstances of my life thing" is a much more broad idea than either of the previous two. And it requires a lot of sense of self to really be aware of things. You've got to true to yourself, and completely honest. I see my decision to modify my travel plans as a sign of the changes regarding my self awareness. It's apparent that my original desire is not entirely feasible at this point in my life. I took a step back to see what changes could be made and made them and I am in a much better position for it. I know, with more precision, what I want to do and how I want to do it, as well as the things I'd like to do in the future (hookah bar, anyone?!).

Changes

Today, at 2:11am, I am the most excited I have ever been about my trip.

I'm making some huge changes for better or for worse, but I like them. I'm cutting down. I'll be spending only 3 months in Europe and probably one month in South America.

Reasons for this decision are varied, but it really comes down to two things: weddings and cost. I will not miss my best friend's wedding for the world, so I'm leaving in July and coming back in October to play best man! And travelling the other continents is expensive. The real cost comes from getting place to place. It's outrageously costly because not every place has railways and awesome transportation systems like Europe.

However, since I'm cutting back, I'll have a lot more money to spend on some things. Cody and I were sitting at the Classic Bean tonight when it occurred to me that there is no reason for me to pay off all of my student loans. I'm just going to prepay payments through January, and keep the rest of the money for my travels. It will save me about $2500, which will be used for the coolest thing ever: a Eurail Pass. With the extra money, I can afford to buy a 3 month pass which will get me at will train tickets to nearly every country and city I want to visit. AND a ferry from the UK to Amsterdam, which is exactly what I wanted to do. HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT!? I just got insanely lucky.

I'll be travelling super fast, which is great because I'll be able to see more. I'll also get road worn more quickly, so I'll be prepared to come back by October. At that point, I'll take a couple months to work, then head to South America for a month. Followed by re-enrollment at my beloved K-State in January. My time spent abroad will be much shorter than anticipated, but I've got my whole live to travel.

Plus, when I get back I can do some of the other things I've wanted to do. The first month of summer 2011, I'm going to take a month long US road trip. I think I'll be able to do it cheaper than I'll be able to travel around Europe. When I arrive in Manhattan in January, I'm going to set about opening a Hookah shop in town. It will be my first attempt at entrepreneurship. I may fail miserably, but personally I think there's a real fat chance of that. A college town is the perfect place to start a business like that and I think it would be a blast.

Anyways, I'm too exhausted to really be blogging, I just can't sleep because I'm simply giddy about all these things. Even though I'm going to be traveling a lot less time than I'd hoped, my life is great.

P.S. I've put together a list of the things (not all inclusive, and with a few extra things) that I'll be taking on my trip with me. It's not a lot, but it IS all that I need to survive. I'm really pumped about the actions I'm taking to be able to live simply. I hope that, when I return to the states, I will be able to continue the lifestyle.

What a Week...

It's Friday. Finally. The last week has been an incredible roller coaster. Let me give you a quick recap of what went down.

Last Thursday. Off work early. Power surge on electrical grid blows up my Marantz power amp at 4:30pm. $1200 to properly replace it.

Friday. Went to Lawrence with Nathan. Hung out at Ayrick's place.

Saturday. Went to Lawrence. Left for a free Ok Go concert at the AMC Midland with Nathan, Ayrick and a couple others. Didn't get in, place was full to capacity. Came back to Lawrence and went home because I couldn't get into any bars. (Fuck the alcohol laws in America. This is becoming a real issue that I hope will be changed soon, even after I turn 21.)

Sunday. Friend of the family passes away.

Monday. 4:45 am. Dad wakes me up to tell me my neighbor Ed has passed away. He's the only person who's ever filled the role of a grandfather in my life.

Tuesday. Went to Hooters with Cody. Won Tuesday Trivia and 100 free wings. Beat out 8 teams, and I won the cracker eating tie breaker for us!

Wednesday. Received my Stoic eVent shell in the mail. Awesome.

Thursday. Went to Ed's funeral. Received my Patagonia R1 [Edit: turns out the jacket I have is actually an R3 Radiant. MUCH MORE BADASS!] in the mail. Went to Legends to see The Wolfman under the impression that Cody and I could get into VIP seating. Turns out the girl on the phone was wrong.

Which brings me to today. Got off work at 1:30pm. Slept all afternoon. Going to Manhattan tomorrow to watch DJ and Meriel in a track meet. Should be good.

Crazy, huh?

Hilarity Ensues: On Facebook and Business Cards

So! Tonight I had one of the funniest things happen to me in some time. I JUST GOT STRAIGHT UP DEFRIENDED! Yes, on the Facebook. Wow!

I'm not going to be an asshole and use names because, in all honesty, I have no anger, am not distraught, and am still all giggly (yes giggly) about this. So for the story, we'll call my defriender (that almost sounds cool) "Defriender" and the other person will be..... "Shaniqua." That sounds good. Here's the story:

Defriender had commented on a status of mine. Shaniqua recognized the name and said hi to me. To cut to the chase, Shaniqua is a hater of Defriender. Now, I couldn't really care less. Defriender and I are still on good terms as far as I'm concerned. But I found the fact funny and interesting, so I proceeded to have the following conversation with Defriender....

Me: guess what! turns out a friend of mine is a hater of yours!

Defriender: WHO

Me: really?

Me: that could get me into trouble.

Defriender: WHO

Defriender: .........

Me: no seriously. that will get me into trouble

Defriender: k bye

Defender then proceeded to disconnect, and defriend me. Now, I don't know about anybody else, but I think that was simultaneously awesome, hilarious and unfortunate all at the same time. And I really don't give a shit. :D Some days I love being me!

On a lighter note, I'm designing a business card. This is iteration 5, finalized with the help of Cody. I think it turned out really well; for sure a lot better than I was expecting with the rough draft. It's the first thing you see in this post. The symbol in the middle is my monogram. It took me half of a freakin' hour on my mom's Wacom tablet to get it just so. (Those last two sentences were the third edit to this. I should really proofread more.) Cody and I had to brainstorm a bit to come up with my title of "world traveller." I couldn't find anything fitting because "adventurer" didn't really work in practice and "consent engineer" just isn't something I want to explain to a stranger. The design was originally going to go on 2.5" round cards, but those are stupidly expensive. Instead, its going to be centered on a standard rectangular card (also Cody's idea, I quote "I like white space!") and I'm going to put some cool black and white photo of myself on the back.

Wow. Now that I proofread that, turns out Cody helped a lot when my own ideas crashed and burned. Thank you, Cody!

Finally, I bought my first piece of gear tonight. A Patagonia R2. Mine's pretty and red! I still have several more things to get, but I'm stoked about this. It's really begun.

And I should be getting my passport renewed on Friday. WOOHOO!!!!!

peace.love.forever

Imperfect Perfection

I was talking to a friend last night who was having a bit of trouble coping with some of the struggles she was going through in her life. I know the feeling of what she is going through, it is pure misery. One of those things that you can't really comfort somebody about, except to be there for them.

While we were talking, I put into words a view of life that I've had for a while. I just hadn't taken the time to articulate it. It started out with my stuff. I don't have a lot of stuff. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I have very little compared to most people. Those things I do have, however, are costly, handmade and unique.

Naturally, she was lost as to where I was going with this, and I wasn't sure either until I really thought about it. I like the things I have because they're unique. Created by a real person with a real purpose. They have great value to me as well as those who created them. And I see a wonderful comparison between the process it took to make them and the process it is taking to make me.

When someone sets about to attain perfection for their art, hardware or whatever it may be, it is not simply "done." It takes a long, long time. Hundreds, thousands of mistakes and each time the blueprint is scoured and improved. Finally something perfect is created. And even if a sword has a discoloration from tempering or a table has a mar in the wood, these small imperfections do not make them any less finished or beautiful.

I believe that we, as people, are created in this fashion. We start out with an idea of who we want to be and we behave and react accordingly. Experience befalls us in the form of a relationship or a job or an adventure and we break down, only to build ourselves up again. We refine ourselves and others into something much more beautiful, unique and complete. Small blemishes may exist on our surface, be it scars or minor prejudices or crass speech, but they serve only to attest to what we have been through in the process. As a sculpture has a chip in the marble from years of wear, a soldier may have death on his hands from months of war, a grandfather a grimace on his face from decades of hard work.

But we, as humans, in all of our blemishes and refinements, are perfect.

Also, something to think about:

The tallest, strongest, most beautiful trees

have weathered the most storms.