Transformations

Ha. I named this post about halfway through writing it. I get a kick out of the fact that the title and content are strikingly parallel with RSD's Transformations...

Today is a good day for me. I realized that I've become the kind of consumer that I wanted to become before I set off. Although I'll always be eccentric and enjoy things of the like, I haven't always been a rational consumer for it. Like most others, if I seen something I wanted, I'd get it. Whether it was worth a great amount, or it was the most beautiful paperweight known to man.

I don't like that style of consumerism. Not only is it incredibly wasteful but, I think, those actions will eventually bleed into other parts of your life, at which point it can become a lifestyle instead of a consumer style. That's why I wanted to get away from it. This first year off of school was about doing some serious work transforming myself into something that I believed was better than my former self. Namely, I wanted to become more introspective, less materialistic and much more aware of the circumstances surrounding my life.

Now that I write that, I feel like I've come a long ways in a year. Having lots of open minded friends (ahem, Cody, you may get mentioned in every blog post; you're on a roll) has provided an outlet to discuss things about myself that I otherwise never may have considered. I'm much more attuned to what I want, what I believe and what I really need. I have a better understanding of self. It's like a whole different level than what I used to have.

The materialistic changes are what have surprised me most. I didn't really know if I'd be able to make it to where I wanted to be. I was sure that I could break myself of buying things I didn't need, but I didn't know if I could totally change my perspective on those things as well. I have. I see things now in a very "rational" way. Do I really need it? What REAL value does this have now and will it maintain that value in the future? I am working on purchasing not based on want, but on need and efficiency. MINIMALISM! I'm not sure that I want to be completely minimalist, or if I really can, but I'm making good progress going where I want to go with it...which is somewhere in that direction.

The "circumstances of my life thing" is a much more broad idea than either of the previous two. And it requires a lot of sense of self to really be aware of things. You've got to true to yourself, and completely honest. I see my decision to modify my travel plans as a sign of the changes regarding my self awareness. It's apparent that my original desire is not entirely feasible at this point in my life. I took a step back to see what changes could be made and made them and I am in a much better position for it. I know, with more precision, what I want to do and how I want to do it, as well as the things I'd like to do in the future (hookah bar, anyone?!).